Sir Alan Sugar: Possibly the greatest jew since Jesus

I feel i now have some things to write about since my last blog in april and instead of doing individual blogs i thought i'd put them all together in one easy blog with headings.

Football

My beloved reds finished the season successfully by not only retaining the premier league title but also winning the champions league. The final was an extremely stressful game to watch but after 2 hours of football and penalties i saw two great visions... Sir Bobby Charlton and Sir Alex Ferguson lifting the trophy and John Terry crying like a baby because he lost his footing.

Home

Three months ago i left the nest and moved in with so and her sister ro (moving in with them two made me realise i'm a bit of a mentalist!) Things are going well. I'm now having to restrain myself from buying cds and dvds because i have to make sure i can pay my share of the tesco big shop. I also need to budget for...

Clyde

We now have an adorable little kitten named Clyde. He's so great although he has already cost triple figures in his short life for his love of rolling around in his used cat litter. I love that little guy despite of this.

Films

Since my last blog i have been to the cinema four times. All these films are pretty special. Hellboy 2 ups the ante of the first one with bigger action, bigger effects and bigger laughs. There has to be a third but it will be a long way down the road as Mr Del Toro has to make some Hobbit films first. Unfortunately this film seems to have been buried by the behemouth that is The Dark Knight.

The Dark Knight is an epic story with a number of Tour de Force perfomances. I went into the film not expecting what i got as i found Batman Begins a little dull, but this film delivers. Everything said about Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker is deserved, but you there's also Aaron Eckhart who is the centre of the story, Christian Bale plays both batman and Bruce Wayne the way he should be. The supporting cast of Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman make the film even stronger, because there are a lot of flaws. Maggie Gyllenhall brings nothing to the dance and they really rushed the Two-Face storyline. I'm also interested in the third film to see what direction they go.

Despite the Dark Knight being the prom queen of the summer, there was one film that was a complete masterpiece from beginning to end, and was also based around one hero...

I had high hopes for this film, heights i thought that cute little robot couldn't reach... but this film was better than i could have ever imagined. Wall-e is essentially just a love story but it's told in such a way that it makes you laugh and think. It's the best animated film ever made and it deserves to be nominated for the best film category at the oscars. I love this fucking film. I'd say it is probably in my all time top ten films of all time!

I know there is more to say but that can wait for another day. A side note during the period this blog should have been posted is Weezer released another classic album. 

p.s Despite what boo boo says (search google, you can find prison reports on this), spooning is not only an intimate moment shared by a couple, it's also a prison term when a gang leader sticks a spoon up his bitch's (fellow male inmate the leader fucks but doesn't make him gay) arse to get it ready for some buggering! (I thought it was best to not try to find an image of this and leave it to your imagination.

Abort mission

I am currently sitting at my desk, during my lunch break just counting the minutes until it's time for the weekend. I'm not sure why i am writing a blog at this point but ho-hum.

While talking to my friend at the start of the week i realised she has her life planned out. She has done so since she was 9 years old. This got me thinking about how i have no goals when it comes to a career and i never really have. At this moment all i want is a better paid job and to do an open university course. While talking to Kell's bells (the above-mentioned friend) i was thinking that maybe i'm slacking in deciding what i should do as a job and maybe i've left it too late.

Then i realised...

Until has was 30 years old, Jesus had done fuck all...then he started teaching lessons to the world for 3 years before being crucified.

I've recently turned 23, so i have 7 years to really find a path and i don't think i will only have 3 years to make an impact.

So now i can go back to saying rubbish and being a lazy bitch.

Crisis over!

My Bloggy Wlog

Yet again it has taken me ages to write another blog, this is not just down to laziness to write a blog though, it's also down to the fact that i've been too lazy to do anything. So i've now let enough time past to build up a few pointless topics to write about so here goes...

The month of March started with a trip to the British Museum. As good as it was, Sophie and me were unable to visit the Terracota army exhibit as it was sold out.  

The party really got started later that night when we would settle down for the rest of the night doing sophie's youngest sister's media homework. We know how to live it up.  

After a month of saying we would, boo boo and i finally went to the pictures and watched Juno. The film was really good, with the stars of the show being Michael Cera and J.K Simmons. We went with sophie's sisters on while leaving the cinema i got treated to a singleton rendition of Heaven. While they were singing, two things ran through my mind.

1.) How can you murder a song that was terrible to begin with? 

2.) Would it be worse to jump out of a moving car or continue to have my ears punished in such way?

I decided to stay in the car. Still not sure i made the right choice.

I have now decided that it's time i look for a new job as i have no chance of getting a decent payrise and i'll be stuck in the same role for the next 10 years if i don't move. Until i find a new job, i will still get to hear words of wisdoms like this from a guy named Jitesh.

A conversation about a girl kissing a guy she met the night before.

Jitesh: "Did you kiss him? Did you give him oral? Because that is how it all begins, you start from the top and work your way down." 

There are some things i won't miss, such as the person i sit opposite, who is forever sick, shouts all the time, never shuts up and now has hair like wurzel gummage. She currently has 10 days off and i'm getting lots of work done.

I did a Toy Story quiz today and got 28 out of 30. boo boo thought this was sad and was not one bit impressed. I thought i'd done rather well. Coincidentally, i'm watching Toy Story 2 as i right this and it's such a brilliant film i'm gonna wrap this blog up so i can watch the film. 

Over the hill and far away...

On the 1st day of the month, i turned 23 years old.

I'm writing a blog about it a week later because i'm a lazy bitch!

I spent the morning with my family, getting my presents (consisted of albums, DVD's, DS games and money). 

My sister got me a card with johnny Depp on it and that made me think maybe people just think i have a man-crush on good old Captain Jack Sparrow. My moo-ma got me a card which had stickers of smiley faces which i like but not sure where to stick them. 

after a little family gathering and some chocolate cake, i came to see boo boo. When i walked in her room i saw a pile of presents. She had got me Super Mario bros on the DS, A rad Mario t-shirt with the slogan "Party like it's 1985" Scrubs series 6 (Which i'm enjoying more on DVD) My name is earl series 2 and an awesome Metallica Hoodie (it's extremely warm). I was absolutely chuffed with my presents. Sophie's family (or just her mum) got me some nice blue converse. I now have a shoe epidemic going on but i'm coping well so far.

We then went out shopping where boo boo got herself some stuff. I brought the Sweeney Todd soundtrack and i got a weird look to say 'maybe you might have a bit of a man-crush on Johnny Depp!' In the evening we went to a italian restaurant and i had something with an italian name but was essentially pasta and beef.

When arriving back to sophie's, i was greeted with a present from her sister. It was the novel of Sweeney Todd. This is the second book i have gotten for a birthday from rosie. the first was about dead rock stars, and ths one about murder and cannibalism. I can't think of anything else that says birthday than that!

On the saturday we went to russell square to go to the british museum. As we had presents to buy people, we skipped the culture and went to Oxford Street. I went to HMV and got myself the boss' latest album. While in the queue i saw a book about the making of Sweeney Todd. While trying to decide should i buy it, I was thinking to myself maybe i really do have an obsession with johnny depp. I decide against buying the book. 

The only downside to the birthday was my beloved reds lucky draw against Spurs, but even that couldn't ruin my birthday.

On monday i went to work and i had a present on my desk and a card. They had got me a beautiful man utd shirt. This told me i did pretty well in the money collection that they did to buy me the shirt.

It was a fantastic birthday!

2007, 2008 & beyond

As it's been over 3 months since my last blog, here's a recap of what i can remember

2007

On Halloween, i went to see Black Stone Cherry at the Astoria. On the way there some idiot through an egg at me and missed. I thought this was out of order but was more shocked that he couldn't me from 6 feet away. The show was really good and i think a good time was had by all.

At the start of december my work had a winter event (the name of the work christmas party when someone important at the company doesn't celebrate christmas) I'm not much of a drinker but that night i was knocking the drinks back. I don't remember what i had but it was lots and they all seemed to be different. Boo boo got me home safely (after a brief stop at holborn to throw up) and from the pictures i've seen, a good time has been had by all.

As boo boo and i weren't seeing each other until Christmas evening and we were to impatient to wait, we decided to share our gifts on christmas eve. We first went to cafe rouge and had a fantastic meal. Boo boo got me a fantastic watch, a simpsons movie t-shirt, scrubs series 5 DVD, some perfume, a funky scarf, hand cream and a nail file. I was very happy with my gifts.

I think the final film i saw at the cinema in 2007 was stardust. To cut it short, it was rubbish and the time really dragged in the cinema.

2008

My sister got married to a nice guy named Ali. I thought there could be problems at the reception as my sister decided she didn't want a chocolate cake for her wedding. However, the cake she chose was very nice and despite hearing James Blunt songs about 20 times it was a good day.

Last saturday Boo boo and i decided we should do something with our evening. So as there was a new Johnny Depp film out i knew where i wanted to spend my saturday evening.

While we booked our tickets online, we still had to collect them from the counter as the machine (as always) doesn't work. As the rules of the cinema states that you can push in the line to get your tickets, some man with a comb-over thought he would have a go at us for pushing in line. Sweeney Todd is the first Depp/Burton collaboration i've been unsure about as it is a musical and it's 2 hours long. My fears were put to rest early on as the film was fantastic and sickingly, Johnny Depp was able to sing. It had lots of gore and was pretty gruesome but if you see a film with the words "Demon Barber of Fleet Street" then you should know what to expect.

Once the film ended, we went to an indian restaurant where we bumped into boo boo's family(as we seem to do a lot whenever we go there). We had a very nice meal and did not make as much mess as her family did.

Yesterday i went to see Korn at the brixton academy. Despite only having two original members on stage (one found Jesus, big time...one found playing drums got in the way of his modelling career...one is still in the band but had family problems to deal with) and a backing band, they were pretty fucking awesome. I saw them in 2002 and as good ad they were then i think i preferred them as it's a better venue and the set list was more songs that i liked.

I'm writing this blog at 2 a.m and as boo boo went to bed she said i was like "Carrie Bradshaw, with bigger eyebrows and without the horse face."

How can a robot look so cute?

Saturday

I woke up at around nine as boo boo kitty had her theory test. We walked to the test centre and boo boo seemed a little anxious but i knew it would be fine because she had done a lot of revising for this. As she was taking the test, i found a place to read my book (my boring ass life) and have a diet coke. The plan altered slightly when i saw a delicious piece of chocolate cake so i hadthat too. 40 minutes later, boo boo called and i met her outside, then she told me she scored 49 out of 50. Sophie didn't feel this was good enough and i feel she would have been more content if she got 5 wrong and not have to think about the one that got away. As boo boo was hungry, we went to this place and ordered some french bread pizza. I was feeling stuffed after a big slice of cake so i didn't manage to eat too much of my french bread pizza.

When i got back to sophie's, we were still pretty tired from waking up so early on a saturday morning so we decided to have a nap. Four hours later, came the time to clean boo boo's room - something i was looking forward too. We got the room clean, then while i made the bed Sophie decided to do her hair for a trip to the cinema. Her youngest sister, lulu came in the room and while i continued to make the bed, her and boo boo had a usual barging contest for sypremacy in front of the mirror.

We then went to the cinema to see the latest pixar masterpiece Ratatouille. It was a fantastic film and was visually stunning. A very funny and heartwarming tale.

On the way back to camp Singleton, there was many discussions going on in the car. These included Hygiene and a few bad words about their father, that i felt were slightly unjustified. As the hygiene discussion got louder, i started to think of being in my happy place and thought next time i should take a cd player or ear plugs.

Me and boo boo then watched Con air on BBC one and fell asleep shortly after the credits rolled.

Living life through another (because i don't wanna miss the sopranos or prison break)

As i haven't done too much recently and the most exciting thing i can think of to do in this blog is make the text red, i decided i will write about what my friend who i hardly see because we are too useless to arrange something has been up to.



Danny got a girlfriend about 9 months ago and she was different in the sense to his previous girlfriends as she could read something that didn't involve paris hilton in every sentence. As Danny really digs her, he wants to do stuff that she like s to do. Therefore this is the following stuff he has done in the following 5 weeks (could be wrong on the timescale).

Seeing Lord of the rings stage show somewhere in london - Danny and i both saw the first two flicks together, neither of us were that impress but sarah (his girlfriend, i thought her name was something else) likes the films and books so this was right up her street. Danny thought it was ridiculous and doesn't think even being on large amount of drugs would make him like it (he would know). We both have felt the best story from the films has been the clear love story between sam and frodo, and everything else is just a trek somewhere. Anyway i've gone off point, he thought it was rubbish but he surived the whole thing which sounds like more than i can do.

(Stopped writing so i can watch Prison Break)

(Prison Break was awesome)

Seeing Atonement at the cinema - Danny loves shameless but has a problem seeing actors as anybody else after a certain performance, and james mcavoy is that guy from shameless (i'm not a fan so i don't know names.) he said the film was ok which surprised me because he only seems to watch martial arts, japanese or comedies. Atonement is none of those but good he is broadening his horizon.

Ricky Gervais somewhere in london again - This was more a Danny thing as he is a whore for Ricky Gervais stuff, he even liked him on the ricky gervais show. He thinks the office is the greatest sitcom (it's not, even the americans have done that better) he thinks extras is easily top ten (it has one joke in two series) and like his stage shows (they are good, not great). It was of great shock when i heard that my friend danny hated the show - words i never thought i'd hear. Apparently he has turned into Bernard Manning and makes jokes that are racist and makes fun of people with aids. I read a review that said similar stuff (the reviewer thought it was funny) but said that ricky gervais uses a prompter to read his script, which just seems wrong and i thought after 100's of shows you'd have the routine down, but each to their own. Danny is hoping when he sees Bill Bailey that the jokes are funny (i think that's a certainty)

I know he's done something else that was undanny like but i can't remember. i know he enjoyed it. I'm glad he's spreading his wings.

I'm seeing Ratatouille on saturday which i'm looking forward too.

My warmest regards