A mission statement

For the next seven days, I will write a blog. I usually average a blog every four months but I will write something every day. Whatever I write will be over 250 words, it will involve popular culture and it will not include any useful information.

I’m not sure why I am doing this but it seemed like a good idea at work and on Monday, I am fully committed this today and hopefully still will be on Sunday. Let the blogging begin…

(this is not the first blog, merely a statement to reveal the plan)

Post-its and folders everywhere!

I’ve recently been trying to mentally work out my all time 10 favourite films. I start to think it would be hard but not as difficult as I’m making it. I was watching a little bit of High Fidelity and they were doing the top five lists and then that got me inspired on this subject.

The first thing I did was write down some films just at the top of my head and they were This is Spinal Tap, Jerry Maguire, Rocky, Wall-e, Raging Bull and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and then I started to think what other films I would include. Then I really started to think about other films. I first looked at the films I’ve seen the most and it was Caddyshack, Anchorman, Old School, Ghostbusters, Knocked Up and Clerks. Comedies are my go-to film if I need something to watch because they are easy on the brain, they are usually no longer than 2 hours and I don’t mind if I don’t watch the whole thing. So maybe these films should go on the list, but then I thought about it even more.

I love Knocked Up but I prefer Once Upon a Time in America, a film I have only seen twice and don’t watch as often because it’s 3 hours and 50 minutes long so you have to find the time for it. So does that mean I should put this on my list? But if I liked it that much then wouldn’t I find time to watch it more? So then I tried to make rules and that just doesn’t work because how can you say only one comedy when I know I probably like two comedies more than my favourite superhero film. Then I started to think about my favourite superheroes film and that I know I have to choose one to go on my list, but which one is my favourite? Spider-Man 2? Hellboy 2? Sin City? It all became very confusing at this point.

Then I looked at the ones I said of the top of my head and started questioning those choices. I can’t pick the Rocky films apart because I love the whole story, so do I have to disqualify them because I can’t separate the films? Wall-e has only been out for a year, maybe it’s just the freshness of it that’s putting in there. Monsters Inc. was my favourite animation before that cute little robot came along (I really am obsessed with that robot), so maybe in a couple of years time I will realise it that Sulley & co. were better.

I’ve chosen Butch Cassidy but there are films with better Paul Newman performances, so shouldn’t they be on my list instead? Then a new problem has risen, wouldn’t the films with my favourite performances from an actor be the one that’s my favourite film? So I looked at my favourite performances but I wouldn’t say The Libertine was one of my tope ten films even though I think it is quite possibly Johnny Depp’s greatest performance.

More thoughts took over at this point (Directors, Scripts, Childhood memories), it was all too much to take so I thought about how this list might be impossible, but I’m not going to give up because I’ve spent way too much time thinking about it. I did realise one thing though, High Fidelity would not make my top ten.

Death Magnetic Party: Electric Boogaloo

The fact i'm writing a blog can only mean one of two things.

1.) Pixar have announced a sequel for Wall-e

2.) I have seen Metallica live again.

Thankfully Pixar won't whore themselves to make a sequel to Wall-e (i'd still watch it though) and on Monday i went back to the 02 to see Metallica live for the fifth time and must say it was quite a good show.

Lets look at the facts: Metallica have made my favourite albums, my favourite songs, they are my favourite band to see live and i don't think any band comes close to comparing to them. With this all said, for a band where i expect something amazing everytime i see them live (something they seem to do with ease), after almost every song, i'd turn to me brother and just be shocked at at how how fucking awesome they sound. For a band to still perform at a level where you are in awe for the whole set shows that Metallica fucking rule. 

The only negative point is that for a second time, i missed out on a Metallica beach ball! I don't know what i'd do with it, my girlfriend would probably kill me if i brought it home but i know, in my head, i'll be a little bit cooler because i could tell people that i have a metallica beach ball! 

Celebratory 16th blog spectacular

As always, laziness gets the better of me and i now write a blog ages since the last one. As i just wanted to write a blog and it's the final day of 2008, i decided to give a review of the year from my perspective (my perspective means leave out all the important stuff and write about popular culture).

Football

My beloved reds finished in May with both the premier league and the champions league. It was a wonderful time in the world of football. September saw the beginning of a new season with lots of shocks (Hull flying high?, Liverpool top at Christmas??) and my boys aren't firing on all cylinders (ronaldo not destroying teams, berbatov only scoring 3 goals in the league). In spite of this, we are third and have two games in hand so title number seventeen should be on the way.

Films

With a film that could be titled 'My own personal hell'(Abba songs and actors who can't hold a note between them) becoming the biggest grossing film in UK cinema history, you'd think it had been a year of bad films but there have been a few good ones this year. My favourite film of the year was Wall-e. I know i have gone about it a lot in previous blogs but it truly is a masterpiece and i can't recommend it enough. I got the DVD for christmas and every time there are two scenes that almost make me cry and i don't care how girlie that makes me sound because i love this fucking film and i think i would put it in my top ten favourite films of all time (that could be an idea for a blog). Also, i got the Wall-e game for my wii as well and that is very difficult game. It says you have to be at least three years old, but they forget to mention on the box that you also have to be a scientific genius! A film i also loved but didn't seem to get much love was zack and miri make a porno. It was very rude and very sweet, which is what Kevin Smith's best work is. I think Seth Rogen might need to be added to my list of possible heterosexual man crushes (a previous blog) and Elizabeth Banks is one of the funniest women on the planet. Sadly there has only been one Johnny Depp film this year (the brilliant Sweeney Todd) and one Bill Murray (The pretty rubbish City of Ember) so hopefully 2009 will bring brilliant stuff from them both.

A sad note, an actual legend passed away this year. Paul Newman died and i can't think of a better actor, which reminds me of a conversation with sophie and her sister. It was a week after his death and sky movies were showing Cool Hand Luke. I wanted to watch it but then got asked what was one. On channel five they were showing Hitch. I was outvoted and made to watch a film that wasn't even Will Smith's finest and miss one of the greatest performances in film history. These are the people i live with.

Music

Two of my favourite bands released new material this year and both were amazing. Whereas last time Weezer's Make Believe was better than Metallica's St. Anger (an album which i like), this time the almight Metallica came back this year with Death Magnetic and it is a work of art. Each song has melody as well as lots of riff changes and the best bass sound since Puppets. Hetfield's voice sounds amazing and i can't pick a favourite song from it. Weezer's red album was classic weez all the way, with Rivers Cuomo's lyrics never better and he grew an awesome moustache to boot. Other great albums came from Slipknot (get better with every album) Take That (Can't believe i put them in the same sentence as Slipknot), Jack's Mannequin (brilliant songwriting) Kanye West (The man is possibly Prince for the 21st century, just taller, not as crazy and doesn't play guitar)

Things that i thought would be shit but were actually very good

Theses days, unless a programme has a link to someone i like, i don't tend to give it a go as i like to live my life by sticking with the actors i know. So when the hype machine for Gavin and Stacey started, i didn't care. At around April of this year, i brought the first series on DVD for boo boo for two reasons 1. she wanted to see it and 2. it was in a sale. I didn't have high hopes but i was surprised to hear myself laughing out loud! Every character is funny and you want them to do well. The second series was even better than the first and the christmas special was classic christmas telly of a good hearted story. I think Bryn is comedy gold and almost steals every scene he is in. Looking forward to more specials and possibly a third series.

The most shocking thing that possibly happened to me was that boremongers Coldplay recorded a song that i liked. After the same old rubbish of Violet Hill and whatever the album is called, i heard Lost and was shocked that it sounded good. I've heard another song since and that was shit so i'm putting lost down as a fluke. Another good song was Leona Lewis version of boremongers Snow Patrol's Run. It starts off slow but builds up into a divaesque song. and it would be difficult to be worse than Snow Patrol. I'm still undecided if i like Beyonce's if i were a boy, but it was brilliant on the X Factor.

Shit music.

Speaking of X Factor, Alexandra has ruined an amazing song and for that i hope any of other songs do terribly. Another person who ruined a classic song was Kid Rock and i give evil looks to people who brought it or stole it by downloading! The Kaiser Chiefs came back and were rubbish, Nickelback are still rubbish and Katy Perry proved to be the fakest person in pop since Pink. It's good to get that off my chest

Life

Moving away from popular culture, i moved out of home, i have mould in my room, had a blocked toilet, went to 2 weddings, no funerals(gotta be a good thing), became a systems analyst, heard great stories from my dad and grew an awesome 19 day beard (which was saved today by trying to turn beard into handlebars.). I'm still with Sophie and all is going well (although she stabbed me for a third time and slapped me really hard recently). I don't think i could be much happier with how things are.

Final thought

Recently, Boo Boo asked me what i would write on an online dating profile, i was tired and said "i enjoy buying magazines and reading magazines" So i thought i would end by saying my favourite magazine to buy and read this year was Empire, consistantly brilliant and gave Wall-e a deserving 5 star review. 

The Death Magnetic party

Around a year ago i wrote a blog about seeing Prince at the O2 and how great i think the man is. On Monday i went to the O2 and i saw a band that was bigger, louder and better than the genius who gave the world the Batman soundtrack (i'll never see this as a bad album). I went to see Metallica.

I don't think i've mentioned my love of Metallica, so i will quickly go over it as it will put more words on the screen. When i was about 12/13, i was going through music channels and a song was just ending (it may have been Marilyn Manson, old school of course, not his "heart shaped glasses" tripe), then this riff got my attention.

I was listening to Enter Sandman, and it was brilliant. I immediately stole my brother's Metallica albums (most of which i still have) and little knowing that this one song was just the beginning. Even though post '91 people say Metallica lost their edge, i still enjoyed those albums. If i was asked to choose my top ten albums of all time, i'd say half of those would be Metallica albums. As for live, no band as even come close to how good they are.

For the first time in five years, i was able to let my obsession go into overdrive as Metallica were releasing a new album, Death Magnetic. I remember for their previous album, St. Anger (which i think is a good album, despite popular opinion) i was at college, and was late so i could get the album and had to fill out a form and in the box that says 'reason for being late' i worte "was buying the new Metallica album." This says i'm either a dedicated fan or sad. I like to think i'm a little of both.

This time round, i decided to get the limited edition coffin box, which was a bargain because it a lot of extras that i'll never use but glad i own (Metallica pass thingy, 4 very weak looking guitar picks). The album itself is a masterpiece. It is epic and i've already listened to the album more times than i remember. The lyrics are also very awesome. As soon as the first listen i knew these songs would tear the place down live.

Which makes the point of this blog. Metallica were yet again, absolutely amazing. At £5 a ticket, it was the bargain of the century. The best thing i like about seeing Metallica is every time i get five or six songs i've never heard them play before and i'm in awe of how good they always are. In the finale of Seek and Destroy, they dropped black Metallica beach balls from the sky. Nothing says Metal like a black beach ball with the Metallica logo on it.

Afterwards, i was speaking to some random guy outside the men's toilets about how great the songs choices were. I agreed and it was a fantastic night, but just like the first time i went to the O2, i was a little letdown because i saw a black Metallica beach ball and i wanted one. 

Some people are never happy.

Sir Alan Sugar: Possibly the greatest jew since Jesus

I feel i now have some things to write about since my last blog in april and instead of doing individual blogs i thought i'd put them all together in one easy blog with headings.

Football

My beloved reds finished the season successfully by not only retaining the premier league title but also winning the champions league. The final was an extremely stressful game to watch but after 2 hours of football and penalties i saw two great visions... Sir Bobby Charlton and Sir Alex Ferguson lifting the trophy and John Terry crying like a baby because he lost his footing.

Home

Three months ago i left the nest and moved in with so and her sister ro (moving in with them two made me realise i'm a bit of a mentalist!) Things are going well. I'm now having to restrain myself from buying cds and dvds because i have to make sure i can pay my share of the tesco big shop. I also need to budget for...

Clyde

We now have an adorable little kitten named Clyde. He's so great although he has already cost triple figures in his short life for his love of rolling around in his used cat litter. I love that little guy despite of this.

Films

Since my last blog i have been to the cinema four times. All these films are pretty special. Hellboy 2 ups the ante of the first one with bigger action, bigger effects and bigger laughs. There has to be a third but it will be a long way down the road as Mr Del Toro has to make some Hobbit films first. Unfortunately this film seems to have been buried by the behemouth that is The Dark Knight.

The Dark Knight is an epic story with a number of Tour de Force perfomances. I went into the film not expecting what i got as i found Batman Begins a little dull, but this film delivers. Everything said about Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker is deserved, but you there's also Aaron Eckhart who is the centre of the story, Christian Bale plays both batman and Bruce Wayne the way he should be. The supporting cast of Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman make the film even stronger, because there are a lot of flaws. Maggie Gyllenhall brings nothing to the dance and they really rushed the Two-Face storyline. I'm also interested in the third film to see what direction they go.

Despite the Dark Knight being the prom queen of the summer, there was one film that was a complete masterpiece from beginning to end, and was also based around one hero...

I had high hopes for this film, heights i thought that cute little robot couldn't reach... but this film was better than i could have ever imagined. Wall-e is essentially just a love story but it's told in such a way that it makes you laugh and think. It's the best animated film ever made and it deserves to be nominated for the best film category at the oscars. I love this fucking film. I'd say it is probably in my all time top ten films of all time!

I know there is more to say but that can wait for another day. A side note during the period this blog should have been posted is Weezer released another classic album. 

p.s Despite what boo boo says (search google, you can find prison reports on this), spooning is not only an intimate moment shared by a couple, it's also a prison term when a gang leader sticks a spoon up his bitch's (fellow male inmate the leader fucks but doesn't make him gay) arse to get it ready for some buggering! (I thought it was best to not try to find an image of this and leave it to your imagination.

Abort mission

I am currently sitting at my desk, during my lunch break just counting the minutes until it's time for the weekend. I'm not sure why i am writing a blog at this point but ho-hum.

While talking to my friend at the start of the week i realised she has her life planned out. She has done so since she was 9 years old. This got me thinking about how i have no goals when it comes to a career and i never really have. At this moment all i want is a better paid job and to do an open university course. While talking to Kell's bells (the above-mentioned friend) i was thinking that maybe i'm slacking in deciding what i should do as a job and maybe i've left it too late.

Then i realised...

Until has was 30 years old, Jesus had done fuck all...then he started teaching lessons to the world for 3 years before being crucified.

I've recently turned 23, so i have 7 years to really find a path and i don't think i will only have 3 years to make an impact.

So now i can go back to saying rubbish and being a lazy bitch.

Crisis over!